7-DAY PRACTICE · CONTROL AND TRUST
From Chapter 9 of Leadership Drift · 5-minute read, 2 minutes a day
Ask Before You Check: the 2-minute version from Wednesday's email
The next time you reach to review someone's work, pause before you open it.
Ask yourself: what am I actually worried about?
Write down one word: capability, clarity, risk, reputation, or habit.
Why this works
Over-checking rarely starts as a behaviour. It starts as a feeling: discomfort when you are not close enough to the work. The behaviour follows quickly. One more review, one more update, one more read. Each one feels responsible.
The trouble is that control usually responds to the feeling of risk, not to an actual risk. The pause separates the two. Once you can name what you are worried about, you can respond to that specific concern instead of reaching for control by default.
It matters more than it seems, because the cost of over-control lands on the team, not the leader. People stop bringing their best thinking and start bringing their safest. They learn to manage upward instead of leading outward. Over time, a leader who checks everything ends up surrounded by people who appear to need checking.
Trust is not distance. It is supported autonomy.
Reading your word
Each word points to a different response. Only one of them calls for more checking.
Your word | What it usually means | Respond with |
|---|---|---|
Capability | The person may genuinely need support | Coach or pair them. Don't rewrite their work. |
Clarity | "Good" was never defined | Agree the outcome and the standard upfront |
Risk | The stakes really are high | Keep the check, but decide in advance when it will end |
Reputation | Your exposure, not the work's quality | Name it honestly, then ask if the check reduces real risk |
Habit | The pull itself | Let this one go |
The 7 days
DAY 1 Pause and log. Every time you reach to check, pause, ask what you are worried about, and write your one word.
DAY 2 Sort the log. Mark each entry "the work needed it" or "I needed it". Count both columns.
DAY 3 The approval audit. List everything that currently needs your sign-off. For each one, ask whether your approval reduces real risk, or whether it is a leftover from how things used to be done.
DAY 4 Hand one decision back. Choose one decision that belongs a level below you, and say:
"You own this decision, and I want visibility at these points because..."
DAY 5 Hold the line. You will feel the urge to check the decision you handed back. Notice it, name your word, and don't act on it.
DAY 6 Ask one person. "Where does my involvement help your work, and where does it slow you down?" Listen for specifics. People soften this feedback at first.
DAY 7 Review. What did the person do with the space? What did you learn about the gap between real risk and felt risk?
If you're the opposite: too hands-off
Some leaders have the opposite problem. Under pressure they step too far back, handing over work without enough clarity, support or contact. The signal here is a loss of texture. Updates start to sound like reports, and you know the status but not the reality.
The practice: hold one conversation this week that is not a status update. Ask what the person is carrying, where they feel exposed, and what decision they are avoiding.
Where does pressure pull you most?
The free Window of Equilibrium Index maps all 12 tensions: where you lead from, where you drift under pressure, and how quickly you come back. Chapter 9 of Leadership Drift covers this tension in full, including the trust conversation and the decision-quality questions.
